I think that all of us have had and can think of at least one, if not many of these types of experiences in our life. An experience where we are individually feeling a wonderful, light, pure, and all encompassing moment, it can really be anything, something as simple as going for a walk and being grateful for the weather and noticing how beautiful the sky is today, to maybe celebrating a birthday and being excited for your special day or the gifts you’ve received. Whatever the moment is, you are in it, you are present, joyful, full of love and light, and for whatever reason, another person attempts to ruin this for you and bring you down. Maybe you’re walking with a partner or friend at the park, perhaps you are surrounded by family on your birthday. For whatever the reason, this person decides to stomp out the beautifully pure and connected moment you are having. Maybe they say something directly hurtful to you, or perhaps it’s more of a passive-aggressive tone. Maybe they are just being negative within themselves, ultimately making you feel sort of bad for feeling so good when clearly they are having a bad time. These are pretty mild scenarios, but obviously this can range into much more serious, hurtful, even abusive types of situations.

I bring this up because I’m someone who has experienced this type of energy a lot in my life. I am quite familiar with it, and in the years and many different forms it can take, I have come to learn much about the types of people who exude this energy, what it means, why we may fall prey to it or why we may at times even resonate and carry it ourselves. There’s also many different ways of understanding it, conceptualizing it, and addressing it. But at the core of this negative energy, lies a purpose, and the purpose is to drain and siphon the energy of others. And no, one does not need to be aware of this in order to perpetuate it onto others. It is for the most part a very unconscious thing; however, it’s important to be aware that there are those who are very aware and conscious of this type of energy attack and the dynamics surrounding it and use this to their full advantage; cue the narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths of the world.

In the simplest and most mainstream way of understanding this, we can look to patterns of human behavior; specifically those of codependency, narcissism, as well as certain human traits such as jealousy, envy, anger/rage, sometimes even to the extremes of hate. Ending up as a codependent within a narcissistic relationship, is by far one of the most painful, traumatizing, and life altering things you can go through. I won’t delve deep into that because that’s not what I really want to talk about, but I will touch on it to share the ways in which the life and energy will be sucked out of you, at times almost completely if you don’t truly fight for your life.

Ok, so taking the more psychological approach to this… we generally look at people who may say hurtful, negative, or passive aggressive things as just being unhappy, maybe unstable, they have something going on. Since most of us are good and compassionate people, we will almost always give others a benefit of the doubt, especially when it comes to good friends, family, those in our closest circles. We may find ourselves excusing certain behaviors or actions, brushing it off, or simply having trouble in fully understanding where it’s coming from so we sort of leave it be. Have you ever known someone, whether it be a friend, relative, partner who you thought you could trust, who you share personal stories and experiences with, who then uses what you share to divulge to others in group settings, but of course not using your name, but you are aware that it’s you who they are speaking about. They go on, sharing and laughing, even making some remarks and just digging into it as much as they can and then looking over at you every so often, looking for any type of response? Does this sound insane? This is extremely manipulative and toxic, and I can assure you the person is most likely very aware of what they’re doing.

I once knew someone whom I really thought I could trust and confide in, and they did this so often, to the point where I knew better but it hurt me to realize it was happening. I never called them out on it. Maybe I should have. I stopped sharing certain information and became distant in order to protect myself and also because I felt maybe some distance would clear the air. Instead, the relationship ended and at the end I was ultimately called many things which I am not. This is another strong pattern within those who hold and project this type of negative energy. It will ALWAYS be turned onto you and against you. It doesn’t matter what you do or say, or how good of a person you are, you will somehow be painted the villain, the monster, and most likely whatever actions it is that this person has done; will be projected onto you. And as any good and decent person may do, you will actually start to question yourself and wonder, what did I do wrong? You may feel guilty, you may even take on and believe the things in which are being said and projected onto you. This is at the basic level manipulation, projection, and gas-lighting. It is making another person doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and then attempting to push onto them a projection of your own traits, effectively manipulating them and even others as you smear and create narratives and stories to fit the lie you created.

On the psychological level, we can understand it in these terms, but this is of course much deeper than psychological, it will effect you on all levels, including spiritually. Spiritually, this is dark and toxic energy. Sometimes we don’t have a choice, or we may have limited choice and control over the types of people we may interact or be around. So simply saying you should cut this energy out of your life is kind of pointless and not helpful to say. Instead, becoming aware of and learning not only the impacts and significance of energy work and protection in our lives, but also having at least a basic understanding of psychology and human behavior will save you from so much and at the least help you to become a stronger, more balanced individual who can learn to navigate around and through all those who would try to impose their dirty and dark energy onto you. Cutting toxic people from your life will only bring you so far. It’s absolutely necessary in this sense to understand boundaries, on all levels; physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. I think people forget that even if you have a physical boundary and cut a person off, you will still have an energetic attachment unless you have actively worked to clean it up and separate from it. Spiritual and energetic protection is so vital to our overall well being.

And this is where the unhealthy attachment of codependency comes in. Within codependent relationships, there is an imbalance; one partner usually will rely on/become codependent on the other within the relationship, whether this is to fill a need of emotional support, physical, or a combination of reasons. What is common to find in these kinds of relationships is that the other partner will often be of an avoidant attachment; therefore being emotionally unavailable, wanting more space, perhaps a workaholic. It becomes a perfect storm of polarities to create an increasingly unstable, unhealthy and ultimately toxic type of relationship. There is often a give and take, push and pull within these types. And the types of issues that will arise or grow usually end up creating even more traumas and emotional/mental/spiritual damage to both partners, as well as what is called enmeshment. Enmeshment, which can occur within any type of relationship, is when the boundaries are unclear, leading to one or the other person absorbing the emotions of the other, or becoming reactive to the emotions or even the needs of the other person. This is very common within codependents because they have learned through this attachment style to anticipate the needs of others, as well as to respond to or become a sponge to the emotions of others, taking on the problems and issues of another, in the hopes that by doing this, that their needs are met; whether this is an emotional need, a physical need, or having a sense of security.

As you may be able to imagine, this relationship even if between two well-meaning individuals, will spiral out of control and lead to extremely unhealthy habits and patterns and energy. But what is worse is when a codependent individual finds themselves in a relationship with a narcissist or sociopathic individual; this can lead to severe levels of trauma and abuse for the codependent individual, and if they are unable to realize fully what is happening or without a network of supportive friends or family, it’s unlikely that they may ever leave the relationship and if they do, so much damage is done that trust and intimacy become what seems like an unattainable treasure.

When it comes to dark and toxic energy narcissists may be just be the worst. Of course sociopaths and psychopaths are there with them too, but what I find to be so unsettling and evil about narcissists is that they are able to fake it so well and spin their web of lies so smoothly that they are able to fool most, at times even psychologists themselves. These people are underestimated and I think part of the reason why is because most people only think and relate to others on terms of which they themselves understand. There is a sort of cognitive bias within most of our thinking which can have us falsely believe that just because WE may think that something is so unspeakably evil, dark and that we can’t imagine it being done, that somehow others must think the same way on such a thing. This is an extremely dangerous bias to have, because it is what allows and helps to perpetuate the types of evil that are committed within this world.

I have seen these types of biases in action, as I have had moments where I have shared very personal and painful experiences with others and instead of being met with empathy and understanding, I am met with doubt, skepticism, at times even told I am exaggerating or overreacting. In these types of scenarios I have found it is for only one of two reasons; 1. simply because another finds its hard to comprehend such an event, therefore in order to protect their own worldview/ego/etc they doubt the individual sharing the story or information, 2. The person believes and knows you are speaking the truth, however they themselves fall into one of the categories of dark/negative energy, whether a narcissist themselves or simply a manipulative/dishonest person, therefore they discount what you say or perhaps use it to their advantage. There is also a third type I suppose, and that would be the individuals who know and believe you, maybe they’ve been there themselves, maybe they are more aware of and in tune with these things, however I find this type of person to be pretty rare.

What does narcissism, psychopathy, unhealthy attachment styles and the psychology of all this have to do with the interaction of energy between different individuals? Well, a lot. We are energetic beings as much as we are physical beings, if not more. When we are experiencing emotions such as joy, gratitude, love, peace, we are vibrating at a higher frequency than when we are experiencing emotions such as grief, pain, hate, jealousy. As humans, we are meant to experience all emotions, I don’t believe that everything can always be light and love, no matter who you are, you will have moments of pain or anger, that is the human experience, and we shouldn’t limit or repress ourselves against whatever comes up within us. However, there are those who cannot experience the higher and purer emotions that most of us do, and I think this is where so many can get stuck and confused, it’s hard to fathom perhaps that there’s a lot of people out there, many you know and interact with in your daily life, who truly do not feel love, peace, joy or connection in the ways which you do. Some never have and never will. Some are able to fake it well, but if you are sensitive to energy then you can probably feel that something is off with such individuals, you may be able to see it in the eyes as well. You may be able to fake an emotion but the eyes will never lie, you can always read into a person’s state of being within the eyes.

Those who don’t and can’t connect to these emotions and states of being are most likely also disconnected from or void of soul. It obviously varies, on the most extreme end, think of a psychopath, perhaps a serial killer, do you think they have a soul? I don’t want to go off too much onto the speculation of having/not having a soul, maybe in another post, especially as this is much more of a subjective take than anything. But the lack of ability to experience higher and purer states of beings will make those with lack of and stuck within energies of hate, rage, jealousy, etc lash out at those who can, as they see them as more powerful, pure, and happier than them. They realize you have something they will never have. It’s like they can’t even help themselves. They will see you being in a place of love and peace and want nothing more than to destroy it, to take you down a notch, they writhe with jealousy and hate at the idea that you have that, because energetically they will never attain it, and they think if I can’t, no one will.

Such individuals usually hide this energetic lack behind many material and trivial things; having a successful career and money, a big house, superficial circles of friends and networks, yes men who will prop them up and will seem to latch onto every story they tell. Sometimes the most void of individuals are the ones in fields of philanthropy or what you’d consider humanitarian care. If that sounds confusing or ridiculous to you, that’s probably cognitive bias kicking in having you say something like, “why would someone who doesn’t care or feel anything do any kind of charity or work to helps others”…well, the only way these people can really get their kicks is by feeling powerful, superior and above others, therefore through “charity” or any such cause, they are given a lot of energy through others, whether it is through praise, attention, awards, recognition of their deeds, others are giving their energy to the individual, and instead of this energy being reciprocated back, it is simply siphoned. These types are simply energy vampires, feeding off of the emotions and energy of others.

These energy vampires can come in countless forms, and sometimes it can come from those who don’t fall into categories of personality disorders, all of us have moments where we will contribute to being the siphon on another person. This is where awareness of self, awareness of our own state of being and empathy not only for ourselves but others is important. We can learn to regulate our own emotions better, we can learn to process the thoughts, emotions, feelings as they arise and instead of allowing them to leak out and negatively impact another, we can transmute that within ourselves, which ultimately leads us to a higher, cleaner vibration, strengthens us within and helps to stop the cycle of latching negative energies onto others and holding those within ourselves. This also connects to shadow work; bringing the unconscious to light, looking into ourselves and instead of denying or hiding from those parts of ourselves we may not like, stepping towards them, understanding, finding the roots, and integrating that into ourselves. Like I mentioned earlier, a lot of the times when such negative energies are being directed towards you, it is almost always coming from a place of projection.

But what about those who would attack and siphon your own energy? How do we protect ourselves from that so that we don’t end up taking such energy on and further perpetuating it? I’m going to list some of the most important ways which you can help to strengthen your own energy and how to protect it and become more aware.

• Getting in touch with your own self and energy, increasing your own self-awareness. By building your own awareness you become more in tune with your body, mind, and emotions. You strengthen your own discernment, which allows you to separate your own thoughts and emotions from those which others may project onto you (if this is something you need to work on then you will be surprised at how often you may be taking on the emotions, mental or spiritual load of others)
• Becoming more informed on these areas, which can range from areas of psychology, human behavior, energy work and protection, consciousness and self awareness, to spirituality and the ways which all these areas connect to one another. By working on yourself and increasing your own self-awareness, you can also intuitively tap into and get a great understanding, but also researching or finding those who talk on these subjects will help you significantly in your own growth and protecting you from the siphons.
• Boundaries. This is absolutely one of the most important ones. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of boundaries in your life. Discern who you trust, associate with, who you allow in. Because it can become messy, toxic, chaotic, and so many things when you allow a darker, negative person to be close to you. Sometimes we may have limited choice, maybe its a colleague at work, maybe its a family member. Either way, creating strong boundaries and holding such people accountable to them will protect you, they won’t like it and you will probably receive backlash for it, but don’t give in, they’ll eventually find a new target to siphon from.
• Clearing your energy and energy fields. This is also super important and is a great habit to get into for spiritual hygiene. This is something which needs to be done regardless of whether you are dealing with an energy vampire or toxic person; throughout your day you are interacting with and coming into contact with who knows how many different people or environments, all of which have their own energy fields. You can think of our own energy field and that of others as permeable fields around us which bend and form and shift given the energies which are interacting with each other. Just think of a time in which maybe you were having a great day and then you end up dealing with an extremely rude or aggressive person, maybe it’s a customer at your job, maybe it’s some unstable person on the streets, think of how this effects you and makes you feel, the ways in which your energy suddenly shifts and changes. This is why it is so important to have ways which you can clear your energy and to bring you back to your own balanced state.

—Some ways in which you can practice spiritual/energetic cleansing: burning sage, palo Santo, incense, taking salt baths/showering and using meditation to envision yourself being cleaned, meditative music such as drumming, singing bowls, or finding music on line that use frequency tones like binaural beats, going out into nature and connecting with it, whether its sun bathing, walking barefoot on grass, just becoming mindful and present with nature can help to align you back to a higher state of mind, breath work and movement whether its through dance, yoga, exercise, or practices such as qi gong also are great ways to not only strengthen and build your own energy fields but to also move stagnant or unwanted energies from you. There are so many ways to energetically cleanse yourself, and I believe that it comes down to personally and intuitively connecting to yourself and learning what works for you. I incorporate all of which I just shared, but there are many ways and methods.

On a similar note, Energetic Protection is also equally as important as a good cleansing ritual. Protecting ourselves will come with building and adding onto the tools and awareness we already have. So everything I have mentioned so far is critical to having an understanding and way to energetically protect and even block the negative or dark energies which will at times try to latch onto you. Building our own self-awareness, discernment, creating STRONG boundaries, having healthy habits in place which bring us to a higher vibration and having spiritual hygiene are all foundational to being able to block and protect yourself, any weakness in these areas and you are more open to energetic attack and siphon. Once you are strong in these areas, you can add ways to strengthen your own energy shield and further protect and elevate your own self and energy.

–These are some of the ways I would recommend; abstaining from alcohol consumption, alcohol actually opens you up to energy siphons, spiritual attack and entities, it reduces your ability to think and react, I could go on and on but honestly, I feel this is all enough, alcohol is absolutely terrible and if your are a sensitive person, it is not in your best interest at all to consume it. Any form of substance is probably not a good idea, I would also personally add marijuana to this, as this also leads you to being open to attack and not in a state of being to protect yourself, but I’ve also heard of some people finding marijuana useful, so for this I say, use discernment. Be very wary of and aware of what you put into your body and the ways in which it makes you feel and how you respond to it, this will tell you whether it is helping you or hurting you. Your body knows, listen to it.

Meditation, time alone and with yourself and becoming familiar with your own energy will help you immensely, as you will soon learn to tell when it is off or not resonating with that around you. Through meditation and connecting to yourself you also help to strengthen your energy, making it tougher for siphons and negative energies to break through. Within your home it is very important to be mindful of cleanliness, eliminating clutter, and also incorporating energy and boundary principles within it. This can look like having some salt lamps which help to purify the air among many other benefits, crystals which you can intuitively set up around the home or within your bedroom which will also ward off negative energies and help to protect you, plants, oil diffusers which help to also clean the air and energy in the home. This can all be very personalized, I am sharing what I know works for me. You should feel safe, comfortable, at peace, and just overall wonderful in your own home and space, if you don’t, it’s time to take a look at why and what’s causing you to not feel this way.

One more way which I’ll speak on is through practices such as qi gong or yoga. I especially love qi gong, which is a form of energy work that uses slow body movements and conscious break work to allow you to move stagnant energy out of you and to also bring in and build strong and pure energy within you, or chi. I have found qi gong effective and can truly feel it working whenever I have used it, you can find youtube videos which will show you how to do this, it’s super easy and even just 10-15 minutes of this a day can really elevate you.

These are just some of the ways in which you can strengthen and protect your energy, but I hope that in writing this I helped others to learn a bit more about themselves, the importance of our own energy and how it interacts with that which is around us, and how you can strengthen it, protect yourself, and practice good spiritual/energetic hygiene. We are all human and will experience moments of negativity and lower vibrations, sometimes we unconsciously will project this state of being onto others. As long as we can hold ourselves accountable, actively work to heal and connect with ourselves to improve and better understand ourselves and others, we will be ok and can help to create a more balanced and healthy state of being not only for ourselves but collectively in this world.

But as I also shared and which I feel is equally important to this subject, is understanding that among us and indeed at the very top, we have individuals who do not and can not experience life, love, emotions in the same way that we do, in fact not at all. The siphons, the energy vampires, the predators. If you allow it, such people will take everything from you and leave you as an empty shell. They have no limits, no boundaries, and no cares, their goal is to take, they are void inside and its only through consumption, negative energies, manipulations and abusive ways of being in which they can express and feel anything at all. Strengthen your discernment, respect and protect your energy, and learn to see through those who would take it all from you.